if i killed myself today they’d say i didn’t consider those who loved me
but if i wake up tomorrow they’ll condemn me for being unloving
and if i die trying they’ll call me pathetic, obsessive, weak
as if i must keep my heart imprisoned within their boundaries
so if i continue breathing where else would i put the oxygen?
well if i have no where to put it, i’ll have to hold it all in
then if i run out of space within myself, i’ll be explosive
and if i’m too close they’ll say i only care about my own shit
well if i blow up, i’ll have to avoid them, handle it all alone
then if i keep my distance, they’ll catch wind and throw stones
but if i let it build a wall around me, they’ll start a dialogue
as if i was given the tools or resources to even talk at all
for if i say what they want to hear: i lack original thought
or if i say what i really think: i gotta step off my soapbox
and if i stay silent they’ll say i’m being cryptic or a chore
like if i protect my peace then its a sudden act of war
if i go to war, i’d have no one to fight beside
if i fight myself, they’ll all run off and hide
if i am left alone i won’t know when to quit
if i quit now, there’s only one way to begin…