routine exam

most mornings i end up looking in the mirror.

every time i do this, i end up surprised, fascinated…

or appalled by what i see. 

this is not a new person that i see in the reflection, 

yet i routinely act as though it is.

sometimes it's because of how red my nose is,

or how messy my hair got, 

or how weak my jawline remains to be.

well, most parts of myself i seem to have an…

on/off, love/hate relationship with.

it used to take up a lot of my mental capacity, 

anxious about how i appear to others.

at one point, this routine held a greater weight…

as i began imagining myself through two particular eyes.

when you develop an infatuation with another human,

you focus on a lot of what you see to be good about them.

even perceived flaws can be seen as admirable

… through rose-colored glasses. 

if unpracticed in self-love, the inverse will occur.

your own self-image won’t be as forgiving,

unable to see yourself in your own rose-colored glasses.

everything you do… or appear to be… 

is exaggerated and spinned in all the wrong ways.

this heightened awareness of self becomes routine.

your very emotions are picked apart to oblivion, 

exhausting you of any benefit of doubt.

but with practice… you won’t need glasses.

and neither will they.

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